God! My God! It’s you—
I search for you!
My whole being thirsts for you!
My body desires you
in a dry and tired land,
no water anywhere.
Yes, I’ve seen you in the sanctuary;
I’ve seen your power and glory.
My lips praise you
because your faithful love
is better than life itself!
So I will bless you as long as I’m alive;
I will lift up my hands in your name.
I’m fully satisfied—
as with a rich dinner.
My mouth speaks praise with joy on my lips—
whenever I ponder you on my bed,
whenever I meditate on you
in the middle of the night—
because you’ve been a help to me and I shout for joy in the protection of your wings.
My whole being clings to you;
your strong hand upholds me.
But what about those people who want to destroy me?
Let them go into the bowels of the earth!
Let their blood flow by the sword!
Let them be food for wild jackals!
But the king should rejoice in God;
everyone who swears by God should give praise
when the mouths of liars are shut for good. Psalm 63 (CEB)
Tonight, we continue our gardening. Cultivating those behaviors that lead us to being the shalom, or wholehearted, people God intends. And pruning, or letting go of, those that don’t. We’ve been using two primary resources. The first is scripture and, more specifically, the psalms. The second is a book written by Dr. Brene Brown, a current research and teaching sociologist at the University of Houston. The name of her book is The Gifts of Imperfection.
Tonight is the halfway point for us this Lent. Tonight’s focus is on a key guidepost offered by Dr. Brown: cultivating authenticity and letting go of what people think. We begin with a look at Psalm 63.
Psalm 63 is an interesting psalm. It’s interesting because it is one of only a few psalms that theologians have not been able to neatly categorize. There are psalms of thanksgiving, psalms of lament, community psalms, liturgical psalms. Several different categories that most psalms fit neatly into.
However, Psalm 63 is different. At first glance, it appears to be a psalm of lament. A psalm of disconnection. “God! My God! It’s you - I search for you!” Yet, if we look more carefully, we note that expressions of thanksgiving, trust, and confidence more fully represent its theme. Look at verse 3: My lips praise you because your faithful love is better than life itself!
The Hebrew word for “faithful love” is a word we’ve heard before. Hesed. Translated into Greek, it’s the same word for grace. A word that means God’s steadfast, undeserved love. The psalmist is full of this hesed - as full as from a rich dinner. It is that hesed of God that has been the source of the psalmist’s help and protection and the reason for the psalmist’s praise and thanksgiving.
It is hesed that, for us as New Testament people, is manifested in God’s incarnation and Jesus’ saving death on the cross. An act that shows us the depth of God’s love for us. An act that shows us the depth of God’s desire that we might be whole people. The whole and gifted people God has created us to be.
How whole? How gifted has God created us to be? The answer to this is hidden in verse 8 of the psalm, a verse that we might easily miss. “My whole being clings to you; your strong hand upholds me.” This response - this act of God reaching out - is directly related to the opening cry of the psalmist. “I search for you!” What we miss, though, is that this reaching out by God with God’s right hand represents an honor that might be shown to a monarch or to a pharaoh, when the imperial god takes the leader by the right hand. According to Isaiah 42, this is the same gesture that God uses to choose God’s servant. To choose us. God views us as we would view a king. Or a queen. With the utmost dignity, respect, honor, and love. With the gifts of royalty.
If God views us in this way, how might we more fully live into God’s view of us, rather than that of the world, a world that constantly bombards us with images that we are not good enough. Or that we’re not meeting up to cultural expectations. Expectations of who we are as women. Or men.
How, in the midst of this, might we authentically be the person, or the people, that God views us to be?
In her research, Dr. Brown has found that the “act of authenticity” is actually not that challenging. The real difficulty lies with the “audacity of authenticity.” That when we say “no” to people or we don’t respond in a way that someone expects, many of us experience shame triggers around being perceived as self-indulgent or self-focused. We don’t want to be viewed as selfish or narcissistic. And, sometimes, when we do push back, the system pushes us back. With everything from eye rolls and whispers to real struggles in relationships and feelings of isolation. Or with responses that are cruel. Or that try to shame us.
Many of these triggers are connected to cultural expectations around gender. In her research, Dr. Brown has found that the attributes associated with being feminine are being “thin, nice, and modest.” And those for being male are “being in control emotionally, the primacy of work, control over women, and the constant pursuit of status.” So, to play it safe, women have to be willing to stay as small, quiet, and attractive as possible. And men - well, men have to stop feeling, start earning, and give up on any meaningful connection.
Yet, to trade in our authenticity for safety eats away at our own sense of worthiness. And this can lead to depression, to anxiety, to eating disorders and addiction, to rage, to blame, to resentment, and to grief.
Choosing to be authentic isn’t always the safe option. Sometimes choosing being real over being liked is all about playing it unsafe. It requires courage to speak honestly. When we do this, there will be growing pains. Yet, being true to ourselves is the best gift we can give the people we love. By letting go of trying to be everything to everyone, we will experience more time, more love, and more connection for the important people in our lives. And for the God who loves us. Who views us as royalty. And who desires for us to be more fully, and wholly, ourselves as God has created us.
May God help us to let go of what other people think, and to cultivate our own authenticity as God’s shalom people. Amen.
Preached March 27, 2019, at Grace & Glory Lutheran Church, Goshen, KY.
Midweek Worship
Reading: Psalm 63
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