1. Introduction: The Universal Stumbling Stone
Most of us spend the first half of our lives on a high-speed "cruise control," meticulously maintaining a performance designed to convince the world—and ourselves—that we have it all together. We build our egos like skyscrapers, chasing accolades and security, following a script of upward mobility that promises peace if we only "do it right." But eventually, we all encounter the "absurd stumbling stone": a situation we cannot fix, control, explain, or outsmart.
In our performance-driven culture, we view these moments of failure or suffering as dead ends. However, a deeper spiritual wisdom suggests a radical paradox: falling down is often the only way to move truly "upward." This is the core of the "Hero’s Journey"—not a straight line to the top, but a necessary descent into the depths before a true ascent can begin. We move from an egocentric survival to a soul-centric thriving only when we stop trying to win and start learning how to lose.
2. Takeaway #1: The Architecture of "Falling Upward"
There is a fundamental shift that occurs between the morning and the afternoon of a person’s life. As psychiatrist Carl Jung noted, "One cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning." The first half of life is necessarily devoted to forming a healthy ego—the container or "raft" intended to carry us through a dysfunctional world. The second half, however, is about the courage to go inward and let go of that very container.
We often resist this transition because our culture treats failure as a lack of cleverness. In reality, hitting "some kind of bottom" is the prerequisite for the spiritual journey. What feels like a catastrophe to the ego is often the necessary foundation for the soul.
The bottom line of the Gospel is that most of us have to hit some kind of bottom before we even start the real spiritual journey... The falling became the standing. The stumbling became the finding. The dying became the rising. — Richard Rohr
3. Takeaway #2: Your Ladder Might Be Leaning Against the Wrong Wall
Many of us spend decades successfully climbing the ladder of achievement, only to find, as Thomas Merton famously suggested, that the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall all along. This is the crisis of the "false self"—the collection of roles, titles, and mental attachments we mistake for our absolute identity.
Growth in the second half of life is not about adding more to our resumes; it is what Paulo Coelho calls an "un-becoming." It is the process of shedding our relative identity—who we are in relation to our jobs, our status, and our parents' expectations—to find our absolute identity as we are known by the Divine. We must surrender the "passing shell" of the ego to find the "pearl of great price" hidden within. It is a Great Emptying that makes room for a Great Outpouring.
4. Takeaway #3: True Power is "Off-Script"
The trial of Jesus offers a sharp contrast between two types of power. On one side is Annas, the former high priest, who wields "soft power" through defensive secrecy. His authority is fragile, propped up by a late-night, "black site" interrogation style that circumvents the law to protect the status quo. His power is a performance fueled by deep-seated anxiety.
Jesus, however, demonstrates an "inherent authority" that is entirely "off-script." He refuses to play the game of surreptitious interrogation because he is governed by mission rather than fear. While Peter initially attempts to use "retaliatory violence"—acting as a "willing weapon" with his sword in the garden—Jesus chooses vulnerability as his strength.
To move into the second half of life, we must stop being "weapons" (defensive, judgmental, and coercive) and become "witnesses" (candid, open, and governed by integrity). True power is the courage to remain governed by truth even when it leads to the cross.
5. Takeaway #4: Balance is Learned by Falling Off the Bike
We grow spiritually more by "doing it wrong" than by "doing it right." Just as a child learns the physics of balance by repeatedly falling off a bicycle, we learn spiritual resilience through our mistakes.
Those who have never allowed themselves to fall are actually "off balance" without realizing it. Because they have never faced their own limitations, they often become judgmental and fanatical. As Richard Rohr points out, such people often become "elderly without being elders"—they have aged, but they haven't matured into the compassion that only failure can teach. Mistakes are the building blocks of a life-giving perspective; they make us "hard to offend" and easier to live with.
You learn how to recover from falling by falling! It is precisely by falling off the bike many times that you eventually learn what the balance feels like. — Richard Rohr
6. Takeaway #5: The "I Am Not" Identity Crisis
When Peter stands by the "charcoal fire" (Greek: anthrakia) during Jesus’s trial, he is in a "fire of fear." When asked if he is a disciple, he repeatedly says, "I am not." This "I am not" identity stands in stark contrast to Jesus’s centered "I am." It is here we meet what Jung called the "shadow"—that "another whom we do not know" who speaks to us when our performance fails.
Linguistically, the word anthrakia appears only twice in the New Testament: once at Peter's denial and once at his restoration by the risen Jesus on the beach. This tells us that our failures are not final; they are the exact locations where our healing will occur. We are often "wound identified," using our victimhood as a ticket to sympathy. However, the path of the second half of life is to transform these "shadows of our own making" into "sacred wounds" that liberate us and others.
7. Conclusion: The Hero's Journey Awaits
Everything we have experienced until now has been mere preparation. The successes and the crushing failures of the first half of life were simply the construction of the "raft." The tragedy of many lives is that they fall in love with the raft and never step onto the shore.
When the ego is finally emptied, God—like nature—rushes to fill the vacuum with a "Great Outpouring." This is the "sacred dance" of the Trinity, where power is no longer hierarchical or dominating, but circular and shared. In this state of flow, our driving motives are no longer money or approval, but a state of divine union.
Resurrection is only possible after we have "died" to the false self. As you consider your own path, ask yourself: What are you going to do with your now resurrected life? Or, as the poet Mary Oliver famously asked, “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
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