Cultivating and Letting Go

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
    and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you alone, have I sinned,
    and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are justified in your sentence
    and blameless when you pass judgment.
Indeed, I was born guilty,
    a sinner when my mother conceived me.

You desire truth in the inward being;
    therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
    wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones that you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins,
    and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and put a new and right spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from your presence,
    and do not take your holy spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
    and sustain in me a willing spirit. Psalm 51:1-12 (NRSV)

Grace and peace to you from the Holy Trinity: Creator, Redeemer, and Comforter. Amen.

Welcome to Ash Wednesday and to Lent. These 40 days (excluding Sundays) are a time where we seek to move into a deeper level of discipleship with God. This year our theme throughout these Wednesday evenings will be that of “Cultivating and Letting Go.” 

It’s been tradition in the church for centuries that Lent is to be a time of giving something up. Perhaps red meat. Or chocolate. Or wine. Or sugar. Or some other thing we might consider a vice. 

I’d like us to rethink this a little bit this year. To consider how we might begin to cultivate those things that bring us into a deeper relationship with God. And to let go of those things that keep us apart from God. Now, I’m not certain if chocolate fits into that category. Perhaps, for some of us it does - that our desire for chocolate overrides our desire for relationship with God. So, I’ll let you figure that out yourselves, okay?

God’s truest desire for us and for all people is shalom. We’ve talked about that concept before - shalom is related to fullness or wholeness. It’s a wholeness of mind, body, and spirit. If someone is suffering, for example, from a lack of food, they are not experiencing shalom. Likewise if someone suffers from a physical affliction or an emotional loss or a spiritual emptiness, shalom is not present for them. Shalom is the wholeness that God desires for us. That, even in the midst of our imperfections - we might be transformed to be the whole people that God has created us to be.

In our weekly studies this Lent, we’ll be using a few different resources. First, will be scripture. Particularly, our focus will be on the Psalms. If you received a Lenten devotional last Sunday (If not, please take one with you tonight.), you may have perhaps noticed that each week’s focus is on a different psalm. Our Wednesday evening conversation will focus on the psalm appointed for the week. As part of our study of the psalms, we’ll be using a model developed by Walter Brueggemann, who is a contemporary Old Testament theologian. The model that he has developed in studying the psalms is that they are structured in a process that is much like our lives: from orientation, to disorientation, to reorientation. More about that in future weeks.

Then, we’ll also be using a book written by Dr. Brene Brown. The entire title of this book is The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are - Your Guide to a Wholehearted Life. Brene Brown is a noted research sociologist, author, and teacher at the University of Houston. She has done extensive research and teaching, written numerous books, and spoken extensively on this subject of “wholeheartedness.” It’s an idea that is the equivalent of shalom - of wholeness, of living fully into who we are and who God has created us to be. 

The heart of Dr. Brown’s research, though, is not wholeheartedness or shalom. The heart of her research is shame. Because, ultimately, it is shame that keeps us from shalom. 

Before we move into this week’s focus, there are two words that we often pair together that we need to define and clarify. We need to look at the difference between guilt and shame. Anyone want to take a shot at this?

Guilt is a recognition that we’ve done something bad. That, we’ve sinned, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Guilt is about our behavior. “I did something bad.” 

Shame, on the other hand, is about who we are. “I am bad.” In our Lutheran understanding, shame is connected to original sin. It was mentioned in our reading tonight in Psalm 51: “Indeed, I was born steeped in wickedness, a sinner from my mother’s womb.” These words take us back to the story of Adam and Eve. And, if you’ve ever looked closely at that story, you may have noticed that shame is the first outcome of sin. 

In the story, after Adam and Eve had eaten the apple, God walks in the garden in the afternoon looking for them. They’ve always been there before. But, this time, God is unable to find them. God calls out to them, “Where are you?” Their response: “We were naked and we didn’t want you to see us naked.” In other words, “we are ashamed.” For Luther, the idea of original sin was related to this shame and the belief of Adam and Eve that they were not good enough. It was not that they ate of the tree forbidden by God. It was that they felt shame: a belief that God could not love them. Even though they were God’s very own creation. Shame comes from a lack of trust in God and in God’s promises of faithfulness, grace, and forgiveness. Stuff that is right out of the first commandment. 

Shame is the fear that we are unlovable. It is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and, therefore, unworthy of love and belonging. When we experience it, we feel disconnected and desperate for worthiness. We’re then more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors and to attack or shame others. In fact, shame is related to violence, aggression, depression, addiction, eating disorders, and bullying. Children, who use more shame self-talk (I am bad) versus guilt self-talk (I did something bad), struggle with issues of self-worth and self-loathing. We all experience some level of shame.

Unless we overcome this, we can never fully experience love and belonging. It is this - a deep sense of love and belonging - that is an irreducible need of all women, men, and children. We are wired this way by God. We are wired to be loved and to belong and to be authentically who God has created us to be. It is our shame that gets in the way of this.

But, we’re afraid to talk about shame. Yet, the less we talk about shame, the more control it has over our lives. And the more control it has over us, the less we are able to find shalom, or the wholeheartedness that God desires for us and for our lives. To find love and belonging and authenticity.

So, what does shame look like? For some of us, it’s moving away from people by withdrawing, hiding, silencing ourselves, and keeping secrets. Some of us move toward others, seeking to appease and to please. And some of us move against others by trying to gain power, by being aggressive, and by using shame to fight shame (like sending mean emails or posting mean things on Facebook). Most of us use all of these at different times with different people.

What do your shame behaviors look like? Well, to answer this, consider these questions: Who do you become when you’re backed into that shame corner? How do you protect yourself when you’re hurt? Do you strike out and hurt back? Do you move away and withdraw? Do you people-please? 

One of the things I do out of shame is to self-protect. Here’s a perfect example of this. Yesterday, I had a text from Lisa May, the pastor at Shiloh. Because I’m going to be gone this coming weekend, she’s covering for me here at Grace & Glory. I sent her a copy of this Sunday’s bulletin. She texted to question me whether I had the right Gospel reading. Now, because she’s preaching twice this week, it’s easy to get confused. She was confusing our Ash Wednesday Gospel reading with Sunday’s reading. This has happened to me. In fact, it happened three days ago. I got confused between the very same two readings. Now, my normal shame-based response would be to reply and correct her, without mentioning that I’d made the very same mistake. Because to admit that I’d made the mistake would mean that I am imperfect, that I make mistakes. But, as this topic of shame has been on my mind, I decided to practice what is called "shame resilience." To stop for a moment, to think about shame and my usual response, and then to practice courage, compassion, and connection - the three things Dr. Brown has found in her research that help us begin to overcome shame. So, instead of only texting Lisa about her mistake, I added that I made the same mistake earlier this week. Lisa’s response? Glad to know it wasn’t just me. 

The more aware we are of our shame responses, the more resilient we can become toward shame. The more we can own our own stories - stories as people of God. Stories of worthiness. Of love. Of belonging. And of authenticity. We become more connected to God and to each other. We experience wholeheartedness. Or the shalom that God desires for us.

Now, this has been a very long introduction to the conversations we’ll be having on these Wednesday evenings. Before I close, though, I’d like to look at tonight’s theme about “Cultivating Joy and Gratitude.” It’s easy to just say we should have more joy and gratitude in our lives. But, this can’t happen unless we let go of scarcity or fear of the dark.

There are many different aspects to scarcity and fear. They can be related to safety and uncertainty, to fear of the dark or the unknown. They can be related to the idea that we’re not enough. (There’s that shame creeping in.) We’re not thin enough, or smart enough, or fit enough, or adequate enough to be loved by God, much less by anyone else. 

So, where in your life are you “not enough?” What aspect of scarcity or fear do you need to let go of to move toward a mindset of sufficiency? To trust in God’s promises - that God will provide for you and preserve you? 

I invite you tonight to begin pruning scarcity and fear away. To begin practicing gratitude. To trust that God loves you, that God will preserve you and provide for you. And that God keeps God’s promises so that you may fully experience joy - the “joy of salvation” referenced in our psalm. A phrase that really means the joy of healing. That you might begin to be healed and to experience the wholeheartedness of shalom.


May God grant it. Amen.

Preached March 6, 2019, at Grace & Glory Lutheran Church, Goshen, KY.
Ash Wednesday.
Readings: Matthew 18:1-9; Psalm 51:1-12.

Living Faithfully in the Promise: Confronting Sin

So the Lord sent Nathan to David. When Nathan arrived he said, “There were two men in the same city, one rich, one poor. The rich man had a lot of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing—just one small ewe lamb that he had bought. He raised that lamb, and it grew up with him and his children. It would eat from his food and drink from his cup—even sleep in his arms! It was like a daughter to him.

“Now a traveler came to visit the rich man, but he wasn’t willing to take anything from his own flock or herd to prepare for the guest who had arrived. Instead, he took the poor man’s ewe lamb and prepared it for the visitor.”

David got very angry at the man, and he said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the one who did this is demonic! He must restore the ewe lamb seven times over because he did this and because he had no compassion.”

“You are that man!” Nathan told David. “This is what the Lord God of Israel says: I anointed you king over Israel and delivered you from Saul’s power. I gave your master’s house to you, and gave his wives into your embrace. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. If that was too little, I would have given even more. Why have you despised the Lord’s word by doing what is evil in his eyes? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and taken his wife as your own. You used the Ammonites to kill him. 2 Samuel 12:1-9 (CEB)

Grace and peace to you from God, our Liberator, and from Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord. Amen.

Second Samuel. This is where this week’s story is from. Samuel is an exciting book in the Bible. It’s split into two parts because of its large size. The book of First Samuel focuses on the characters Samuel, Saul, and David and their roles in shaping God’s growing nation of Israel. Second Samuel focuses almost entirely on David. 

Today, I’m going to ask for your help in preaching this sermon. After I give you some background to bring us from last week to today, I’m going to jog your memories. And find out from you what you remember about David. 

So, last week, we heard Joshua recount for Israel all that God had done for them during the exodus from Egypt. We also heard Joshua renew the Sinai covenant with them - the agreement that  Moses and Israel made with God at Mount Sinai. That Israel would be God’s people and that God would protect and bless them, making them into God’s chosen people. 

At the end of the reading, Joshua dispersed the 12 tribes of Israel to their respective areas. In between the book of Joshua and Samuel in the Old Testament (or Hebrew scriptures) is the book of Judges. This book tells a story we’ve heard before. A story of Israel’s total failure after the death of Joshua. 

The judges in this book were tribal chieftains. Their story is very disturbing. It serves as a tragic tale of how Israel’s leaders become increasingly corrupt. No better than the Canaanite tribes they had overthrown. Yet, as we so often see, this story of the judges, though it is sad, is still a story of hope for the future. It shows us the vicious cycle of apostasy. (That’s a big word. Does anyone know what it means? In our context, it’s when one person or a group of people abandon or renounce their religious beliefs.) What we see in Judges is what we’ve heard before in previous readings from the Old Testament. A person or a group of people abandon God, become oppressors, and then, on repentance, are once again delivered by God.

The book of Judges ends with the apostasy of Israel with these words in Joshua 21:25, “In those days, Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.” It is here where the book of Samuel picks up. First Samuel opens with Hannah, a woman who - similar to other women we’ve heard about - Hannah is barren. She prays to God. God answers her anguished prayers for a son, whom she dedicates to God’s service. This son is Samuel. 

He grow wise. And becomes Israel’s judge and leading prophet. A neighboring people - the Philistines - become a challenge for Israel. Israel insists that Samuel give them a king, like the other nations. Although this does not please Samuel, he asks God. And God gives Israel their first king. King Saul. And, once again, Saul becomes proud and disobeys God, who eventually tears Israel away from him and gives it to someone else. Saul slowly descends into madness and eventually dies.

But, it is under the reign of Saul, where we first hear of David. And, so, now it’s your turn to help me. What do you remember about David? [Son of Jesse, anointed by Samuel under Saul’s reign when he was a young shepherd. Defeats Goliath and becomes Saul’s assistant. Eventually becomes Saul’s enemy when Saul finds out David has been anointed as the next king. Hunted by Saul. Eventually becomes king of Judah and then of Israel (combined kingdom). Captures Jerusalem and makes it Israel’s capital. Desires to build God a house, instead God promises David an eternal royal house that will come from his descendants (Davidic covenant). Commits terrible sins (Bathsheba, Uriah). But damage is done: a future of family strife embroiled in politics, rebellion and death begins.]

The story of David and Bathsheba is in Second Samuel, Chapter 11. It’s the chapter just before today’s reading. Up until this point, David has been a good king. And a successful king. First of Judah, and then of Israel. David has restored the kingdom of Israel that had become divided under King Saul. He has also been a successful warrior, leading his soldiers in battle again neighboring tribes. And restoring Jerusalem, which had been captured under his predecessor. In one of the most important acts in his reign, David had restored the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem. This had made his reign and his control over Israel complete.

But, as we know, power tends to corrupt. And, in the famous 19th century words of Lord Acton, “absolute power corrupts absolutely.” It corrupts because it creates a sense of entitlement. It happens frequently. And it’s what happened to David.

One day, as David’s soldiers are at the front fighting the Ammonites, which is where he should have been, David remains at the palace in Jerusalem. Now, it’s important to understand that the palace was situated on the highest place in the city. And, so, as David would walk on the palace balcony, he would have a bird’s eye view of many of the balconies in the city. Wealthy people in the ancient world used their roofs to cool off in the summer. The roofs were usually flat and festooned with makeshift tents to shield from the sun. When it was hot, people ate on their balconies and also slept there, too. And, as we know from the story of David and Bathsheba, they bathed on them, as well.

So, on that day, as David is strolling his balcony, he sees a beautiful woman bathing. A woman named Bathsheba. David sent someone to inquire about her and found out that she was the wife of Uriah. David, then, Scripture reads, “sent messengers to take her.”

Now there has been much written about Bathsheba. And about how she deliberately did this to entice David. And, yet, the Bible is silent on her motivation. It is not, however, silent on David’s motivation. And I could begin a diatribe here related to the #metoo movement, but I think you get the drift of how women have been treated under patriarchal systems. Scripture says that David sent messengers to “take her.” Who was she to refuse the demands of the king? Especially the demands of a king as powerful as David?

And, so, she went. And, you know the rest of the story. When Bathsheba become pregnant, David cold-bloodedly arranged to have Uriah, her husband, placed at the front of the battle, all but ensuring that he would be killed. And he was. 

This happens frequently. One sin leads to another sin. And then a more serious sin. And, on it goes. It’s one of the reasons there are two commandments about coveting. Because God knows that the simple and seemingly innocent act of coveting can lead to more and more serious sin. Just as with David in chapter 11. A chapter that ends with these words, “But what David had done was evil in the Lord’s eyes.”

And, so, God sent Nathan to David. Now Nathan was a prophet and an adviser to King David. One can only wonder what Nathan was thinking the night before he went to confront David. Was he reluctant? Did Nathan argue with God? Did he argue,“God, if I speak plainly to David, he’ll kill me. I’ll never get away with it.”  And, yet, Nathan came up with a brilliant plan. To tell David a story. The story of a certain man - a poor man - who had a lamb that he cherished. The he cared for in his own house. And that he treated as his own child. There was another man, a wealthy man, who had many livestock. When a visitor came to the wealthy man, rather than part with his own property, he stole the poor man’s lamb, slaughtered it, and made a feast.

It was a brilliant move by Nathan. He knew that, when David heard this, it would make him angry. Which is exactly what happened. It was then that Nathan said to David, “YOU are that wealthy man.” Immediately, David recognized the truth. How his power had corrupted him. And how he had sinned. Not only against Bathsheba and Uriah. But, in David’s own words, “I have sinned against the Lord.”

Over the past couple of weeks, we have been learning how we are to live faithfully in God’s promise. One of the most important aspects of that living faithfully is being here in community with each other. Because it is here, in this place, where week after week we are confronted by each other and by God with our sin. And where, like David, we ask for forgiveness in words like or similar to those written by him in Psalm 51. It is here, each week, that we come face to face with our sin and our brokenness. 

But, it doesn’t end with our confession. It didn’t with David either. And even though he did not escape the consequences of his sins, God forgave him. And, then, made a covenant with David that from his line would come an eternal king. A king who would free all people. And us. From our sin. Jesus Christ. Our Savior and Lord.

Because that’s who God is. Always turning that vicious cycle of apostasy upside down. To bring deliverance. 

Thanks be to God! Amen.

Preached October 21, 2018, at Grace & Glory Lutheran Church, Goshen, KY.
Pentecost 22
Readings: Matt. 21:33-41; 2 Samuel 12:1-19; Psalm 51:1-10