It’s a funny thing about how our minds work: we can easily forget a simple shopping list on the walk from our car to the store, yet we can remember a tiny offense or a rude comment from a church potluck decades ago with total clarity. By nature, we tend to hold onto grudges. Left to ourselves, we end up constantly keeping score with the people around us. We carry around heavy, invisible mental checklists, tallying up small hurts, silent frustrations, and past mistakes, and then we hold onto those bad feelings as time goes on.
When we hold onto these mental lists, we stop seeing people for who they really are and start judging them entirely by their worst moments. These hidden grudges act like poison in a community, slowly draining our life and making it hard for us to live and worship together. To really thrive, we have to stop looking at people through the lens of our own frustration. Instead, we need to view our relationships through God’s rules, which aren't given to trap us, but to set us free to love each other.
The Rules for Loving Each Other: Exodus 20:12–16
To understand how God calls us to treat one another, we look at the Ten Commandments, which divide into two distinct dimensions.
The First Table of the Law functions on a vertical axis, looking upward to God to establish how we love, worship, and trust our Creator. But the Second Table of the Law shifts our focus to a horizontal axis. Rather than directing our eyes upward, these verses provide the essential blueprint for how we look across at one another. Commandments five through ten give us practical, horizontal guardrails for a life lived in common. Today, we consider the fourth through eighth commandments. We'll finish next week with nine and ten.
.jpg)
We read in Exodus 20.
“Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” (Exodus 20:12–16 NRSVUE)
These commandments form the backbone of a healthy community. They aren't random rules; they are God’s way of protecting everyone, especially the elderly, the poor, and anyone whose reputation is being torn down. Seeing these guardrails helps us understand what real freedom actually looks like.
Redefining Freedom Through Grace and Commitment
In our faith tradition, we talk a lot about freedom, but there is a big difference between freedom from and freedom for. Modern culture often tells us that freedom just means doing whatever we want, avoiding long-term commitment, and viewing any rule as a cage. In that view, boundaries look like the enemy.
However, we live in a world broken by sin. Theologian Rolf Jacobson uses a wonderful picture for this, saying we are waiting for the day God unpicks all the broken threads of creation and knits them back together into something brand new. Until that day comes, God gives us divine guidance so we know how to care for each other in the middle of our everyday mess. Real freedom isn't found in endless choices, but in committing to protect our neighbors.
First, we must shift the focus off ourselves. The point of God's rules isn't to make your life a private self-improvement project, and God isn't asking you to chase your own success at the expense of others. The focus is entirely on helping your neighbor thrive.
Second, protecting others is true liberty. We find real freedom when we protect the safety, property, and good names of the people around us, using our strength best when we make sure no one gets walked on or taken advantage of.
Finally, this law is a shared gift. God loves your neighbor so much that God gives you these rules to protect them, and in the very same way, God loves you so much that God gives your neighbor the exact same rules to protect you. These commandments are God’s gift to people who have been set free by Christ, giving us a way to live so we build each other up instead of tearing each other down.
Throwing Away the Scorecard: Practicing Complete Forgiveness
As we look at our life together, we have a clear, vital task: we need to throw away our mental scorecards. This isn't just a nice idea; it is the real heart-work of a church that wants to move forward. In the Bible, God commanded a regular reset year where financial debts were completely wiped clean. Today, we are challenged to practice that same complete forgiveness with our personal relationships.
Psalm 133 reminds us how very good and pleasant it is when kindred live together in unity. The Psalmist describes that unity like fresh morning dew falling on the mountains—refreshing, peaceful, and full of life. But we can't experience that fresh unity if we are still holding onto old grudges and past hurts. We must throw away the old mental spreadsheets and start fresh today with a clean slate for everyone.
To live closely with God, as Psalm 15 describes, we need to speak truth from the heart and refuse to gossip or make others feel ashamed. When we gossip to make ourselves look good, we steal the good reputation God commanded us to protect. Keeping our promises and standing up for others creates a safe place where everyone feels supported, protected, and cared for.
What God Truly Asks of Us
We often imagine that God demands big religious performances or grand gestures, which the prophet Micah called thousands of rams or ten thousands of rivers of oil. But God explicitly rejects those empty displays in favor of quiet, simple kindness.
God has already shown us what matters most, asking us to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with our God. In our daily lives, this is our simple guide for loving the people around us. Every time you refuse to spread rumors, you protect your neighbor's peace of mind. Every time you honor someone, you protect their dignity in the community. Every time you choose grace over keeping score, you treat the person next to you as a precious gift trusted to your care by God.
God’s commandments aren't about showing off how holy we are; they are simply God saying, "While you are here on earth, love your neighbor."
Go out today free from the grudges you’ve been carrying and free from the expectations of others. Live honestly, speak kindness from your heart, and protect the people around you. May your life be so deeply rooted in the love of God and the care of your neighbor that nothing can shake you. Amen.
Preached Sunday, August 30, 2026, at Vista Lutheran Church, St. Louis Park, MN.
